Then my mind began to work on settling down, and working its way back to sensible thought. I decided that first of all, the fact that he was calling a second time from Boot Camp, was a good thing, because they aren't allowed to do that unless they have performed exceptionally well either individually or as a group. Then I decided that his wisdom tooth removal must have gone well, because he is well enough to be up and making a phone call. Finally, I convinced myself that it was okay for him to talk to his dad because he did not get the chance to do that last weekend when he hung up with me. So, I settled down, calmed myself, and moved forward knowing that I wasn't expecting to hear anything from him anyway, so there's no reason to be disappointed any longer.
Madison's text response to my plea was that they were playing a board game and she would call later. Hmfphf. I had to tell her that my heart just broke, haha, because even though I had calmed myself and made peace with the scenario, I still wanted to know at the very least, that he was good, or happy, or just fine. I asked her to at least tell me if he said he is doing well, or no, and what about the wisdom teeth, is it done... Her response, "Yah, he is. And yah, they are done. He said he's having fun." Well. Now I feel better. I will just wait... wait for her call. That is a big thing I guess in the Navy. Hurry up and wait. There are a lot of Navy moms out there, veteran moms, who have all been there, done that. They seem to have found a path to acceptance of this whole "hurry up and wait" process, so now it's my turn to work on accepting that as well.
So that all began around 5pm, and I waited. And I waited. And I waited. Around 8 my patience was thinning, and I thought of a few things (out of spite, selfish me) to do in order to elicit a response, and after thinking it through for about 5 seconds, decided against it and just flipped on the TV, hoping to drain some time. At last, just before 9, she called. I really tried to ask about the board game, and how her day was, and ask her some questions so she wouldn't be so offended when I asked about Dakota. It is a really sensitive topic at this point, because when a child "leaves the nest" others can't possibly imagine how the mom feels. It may be a bit less nerve-racking when mom has the opportunity to communicate with the fledgling, but in my case, I don't get to do that. So naturally, just like ALL of the other Navy moms I interact with, it is very difficult to focus on anything else. No longer tearful about it, but still sad and wondering and missing out on the next chapter's play-by-plays, which up until this point have been apparently taken for granted on my part. Madison tends to get pretty irritated, suggesting that Dakota is all we talk about (her dad must do the same?) and I keep trying to clarify with her, that it is the same thing for me when she is away...although Madison is pretty terrific about keeping in contact, and we talk usually on a daily basis if not more. I just didn't want to rush right into asking about Dakota--even though I was chomping at the bits to get some intel.
Pretty passively, she began to share. I also had to be mindful not to press to hard for more information, because she and I both know that I am at her mercy on this one. Boy is that a hard place to be. I really can't believe my life has come to this, where I am at the complete mercy of my ex, who seems to be the most merciless person I know--and that is speaking objectively! So sad. Anyway, these are some of the highlights I can remember:
1) he is not the laundry assistant anymore. He said it was too much to do that and all his other stuff, so he is not the laundry assistant anymore. I don't know how he went about being relieved of this duty. Did he ask his RDC? Did they pull him off of it because he wasn't up to par? Did having his wisdom teeth removed, cause him to fall behind and he needs the "catch-up" time so the RDC okay'd it? No clue how this came to be, but if that is what he wanted, well, good for him.
2) his wisdom teeth are definitely out. I guess he told them that he didn't get knocked out or anything for it, just got like 6 shots to numb the areas and then yank. I guess the top left one gave them a bit of trouble (I laugh as I imagine in gore) and they had to well, "tug on it a while" haha... the visual is unpleasant, and if you have ever seen someone getting their wisdom teeth out, or any tooth for that matter, it's a pretty intimidating sight, the way the head is bounced about and jerked at... no thank you. I guess he had 3 days to recover, and the first two he was just in his rack (bed) and on the third day he was up with everyone when they did their marching and PT but he just had to sit there. Madison said that he didn't like that at all, and he said, "I felt really lazy." Ha! Pretty neat, he actually didn't like just sitting and doing nothing while all of his peers were working so hard. Hmmm, maybe he IS growing up in there...
3) They all get 8 hours of sleep every night. His schedule is: they get up between 4 and 6am depending on what time they went to bed the night before, they eat breakfast, and then they go to classes. Right now they are learning about weapons in class.
4) When he has had IT (intensive training) it has been because of other people in his division. He said that his division "likes to talk" so of course they have a lot of IT. Madison asked him what do they have to do for IT, and he said "we do push ups for an hour, or situps for an hour, or scissor lifts for an hour" and when Madison asked him if there is any break in there, he told her no. ??? Oh my goodness, can you imagine?? wow. Guess he's getting really strong and I had better prepare myself for either a super buff dude or a super lean "workout face" dude at graduation!
5) I told Madison that he is ending his second week on Monday and Tuesday, and thought it was pretty quick to be on weapons already, because that doesn't happen until week 4. Madison said he was in week 3 already, which confused me. She said, he's been there 3 weeks. When I explained that the first week was just processing days, she said "well, he said that he's graduating May 1st because he is in some advanced division or something." I said, "a PUSH division?" and she said yes... so I will have to look up the PUSH division info again online to see really what that means lol.
6) He didn't mention anything about letters, so that's a relief, as I have continued to write him everyday despite him saying to "back off a bit on the letter writing" -- but that's because I do want him to have something to do on the down time. If he doesn't have any downtime, well fine, but if he does, what else is he gonna do? Sure, talk to his fellow SRs but I just want him to have the option.
7) I don't know if he has had any inspections yet, and I don't know how many if he has had any, or how he did. Bummer.
8) He said there is a guy at BC that really cracks him up, sort of a mix between his Uncle Bubba (6'8" sarcastic mouthy smartalec fella with booming, dominating voice) and Uncle Larry (really 2nd cousin Larry, who was wild and crazy and played MLB with the Dodgers--sort of the wild adrenaline junky daredevil frat type guy). I guess when they get IT he gets really mad and starts yelling and throwing chairs all over the place. According to Madison, "Dakota really likes him, he thinks he's hilarious, and cracks him up. He likes to watch him fly off the handle." ??? oh yes, I do recall Dakota watching YouTube videos of grown men playing video games and going into a fiery cursing rage about the video game performance... lol... he gets to laughing so hard at those rage videos. Weird, a bit pathetic, but what can I say, Dakota likes that junk. Probably because he has such great self restraint, I bet he lives vicariously through their raging... ha.
That's about all I can remember about the info she shared, and though there's probably more that she didn't share or she forgot, it is what it is. I shall go back to where I am familiar, to the hurry up and wait routine I have been practicing for almost a month now. I will continue to run to the mail with anticipation and hope, to see if there is any sign of a letter from him, though hope is fading, as I don't expect that he will write.
For now, the disappointment is gone, and I feel a happy relief, that he was able to talk to his dad, his sister, and his little brothers, and that he is really enjoying himself at BC.
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